Comments on: The Gift of Singleness http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62 ALERT: Dr. Köstenberger’s blogs are now becoming available in Spanish. We will continue to add new posts as soon as they can be translated. Click on “Espanol” above Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:35:08 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Cristino http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-88569 Cristino Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:49:21 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-88569 Basically, a woman can remain celibate much longer than a man because of biological differences. Men are born with strong sex drives, men were created to be the aggressor or the pursuer of a woman and the man usually initiates sex because of stronger sex drive. For a man to be celibate for a prolonged period is very difficult, that is why the scripture says 'it is better to marry than to burn with passion'.Sex within marriage satisfies a man's sexual need the biblical way but celibacy and singleness often leads to sexual frustration and many times to sexual perversion such as pornographic addiction, homosexuality, bestiality,rape, fornication, hiring a prostitute and the use of sex objects( blown up dolls) etc. The only sexual outlet for a single man is masturbation and yet most men with deep religious roots often feel guilty if they masturbate to release sexual tension. 99.9 percent of men would have difficulty living a single life without sex which is a natural desire. Marriage is the only biblical way to express a man's sexual needs. Basically, a woman can remain celibate much longer than
a man because of biological differences. Men are born with
strong sex drives, men were created to be the aggressor
or the pursuer of a woman and the man usually initiates
sex because of stronger sex drive. For a man to be celibate
for a prolonged period is very difficult, that is why the
scripture says ‘it is better to marry than to burn with
passion’.Sex within marriage satisfies a man’s sexual need
the biblical way but celibacy and singleness often leads
to sexual frustration and many times to sexual perversion
such as pornographic addiction, homosexuality, bestiality,rape, fornication, hiring a prostitute and
the use of sex objects( blown up dolls) etc. The only sexual
outlet for a single man is masturbation and yet most men
with deep religious roots often feel guilty if they
masturbate to release sexual tension. 99.9 percent of men
would have difficulty living a single life without sex
which is a natural desire. Marriage is the only biblical
way to express a man’s sexual needs.

]]> By: Kim http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-86670 Kim Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:37:01 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-86670 Kim back again. Just checked out the bible and Paul uses the word GIFT and that is good enough for me without mankind giving their own interpretations. Quite simply A GIFT IS A GIFT! Be it marriage or singleness! Kim back again. Just checked out the bible and Paul uses the word GIFT and that is good enough for me without mankind giving their own interpretations. Quite simply A GIFT IS A GIFT! Be it marriage or singleness!

]]> By: Kim http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-86669 Kim Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:41:07 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-86669 Marriage is a gift. Children are a gift and Singleness is also a gift. Like any gift we must concentrate on how we can use that gift in a positive way and focus on what the gift does not what it doesn't do. None of us are free from problems and troubles. There is blessings to be found in all of the gifts above and we will all encounter problems whether married or single. The single person can spend more time with the Lord and it is a precious gift to have and should be treated with gratitude just like marriage. The creator of the Universe is more than capable of allowing us to use our particular gift in a way that glorifies him and gives us deep peace that we are walking in his will. Like all gifts God can take them back and give us a different gift. There is no guarantee that we have the gift of marriage or singleness for life - for life is one day at a time and we should enjoy the gift we have today! Marriage is a gift. Children are a gift and Singleness is also a gift. Like any gift we must concentrate on how we can use that gift in a positive way and focus on what the gift does not what it doesn’t do. None of us are free from problems and troubles. There is blessings to be found in all of the gifts above and we will all encounter problems whether married or single. The single person can spend more time with the Lord and it is a precious gift to have and should be treated with gratitude just like marriage. The creator of the Universe is more than capable of allowing us to use our particular gift in a way that glorifies him and gives us deep peace that we are walking in his will. Like all gifts God can take them back and give us a different gift. There is no guarantee that we have the gift of marriage or singleness for life – for life is one day at a time and we should enjoy the gift we have today!

]]> By: Susan Jull http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-86614 Susan Jull Sat, 25 Jul 2009 01:24:35 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-86614 If you want to know about singleness as a 'gift'--then I'm the one for you. I am the real deal! I was given 2 gifts--Speaking in Tongues and Singleness at age 31 and I am 64 now Talk about the church not understanding you! That's an understatement...I never 'fit in' and remain isolated from the Boby--a real freak show to them! HA~ It's bad enough being single, then you have to tell them that you are 'married to the Lord' and minister to Him in Tongues/songs! My life is one of sanctification (mortification)in the body. I was divorced w/o kids, and then the Lord pulled me out of sin--He said that I would never again live for myself. It took 2 yr. of cleaning up before receiving my gifts. I was so full of unbelief. I only wanted to be married--but then told the Lord "Thy will be done." 3 days after that, I recognized that the desire for marriage was gone and even the passion in my body left!!! That's exactly what happened--and that's how you know you have the 'gift'!!! I never made any decision not to marry--my whole being changed and I KNEW the Lord -- it was like my 'eyes' could 'see' -- it's a relationship. I was 'on fire' zealous--and, boy, did I hate evil! I mean people began to think I had flipped out. I was taking this Jesus thing way to seriously they said. Over the years, my battles have been with all 'ministers'! YES! Since Martin Luther spoke out against celibacy (Calvin,too) the Protestants are Family Values only! True. I had to find all this out the hard way. Today at 64, I am still 'outside' the Protestant understanding. I can answer a lot of questions people might have about singleness as a 'gift'--but my experience is that people don't believe me--their minds are so fixed on what they've learned from their Protestant fathers. I get joked about, scoffed and mocked--it's been a 'gift' that nobody has or that nobody wants to have! But it does exist! People are immediately turned off when I tell them because they think I'm some weirdo...not a real person. They seem to think I am 'handicapped'--not full of the Holy Ghost! They are not interested in me in the least. This 'gift' really is about 'losing' -- in their minds. They 'lose' their tongues if they have to Speak in heavenly tongues--they 'lose' their children or sex life if they remain single, they 'lose' respect in their church culture. Yes, I gave up a lot of these 'perks' that Protestants really love to boast in today. But my relationship to Jesus far exceeds anything they understand in their little bitty Sunday School books or seminaries!~! What a joke. The things these Protestants esteem are so insignificant to the glories of the Kingdom to come that the Lord has given to those who submit to the 'gift' of singleness. Singleness of heart--the greatest gift for serving the Lord has been totally maligned by every Protestant since Martin Luther! It's a total shame Protestants will have for eternity!!! If you want to know about singleness as a ‘gift’–then I’m the one for you. I am the real deal! I was given 2 gifts–Speaking in Tongues and Singleness at age 31 and I am 64 now Talk about the church not understanding you! That’s an understatement…I never ‘fit in’ and remain isolated from the Boby–a real freak show to them! HA~ It’s bad enough being single, then you have to tell them that you are ‘married to the Lord’ and minister to Him in Tongues/songs! My life is one of sanctification (mortification)in the body. I was divorced w/o kids, and then the Lord pulled me out of sin–He said that I would never again live for myself. It took 2 yr. of cleaning up before receiving my gifts. I was so full of unbelief. I only wanted to be married–but then told the Lord “Thy will be done.” 3 days after that, I recognized that the desire for marriage was gone and even the passion in my body left!!! That’s exactly what happened–and that’s how you know you have the ‘gift’!!! I never made any decision not to marry–my whole being changed and I KNEW the Lord — it was like my ‘eyes’ could ’see’ — it’s a relationship. I was ‘on fire’ zealous–and, boy, did I hate evil! I mean people began to think I had flipped out. I was taking this Jesus thing way to seriously they said. Over the years, my battles have been with all ‘ministers’! YES! Since Martin Luther spoke out against celibacy (Calvin,too) the Protestants are Family Values only! True. I had to find all this out the hard way. Today at 64, I am still ‘outside’ the Protestant understanding. I can answer a lot of questions people might have about singleness as a ‘gift’–but my experience is that people don’t believe me–their minds are so fixed on what they’ve learned from their Protestant fathers. I get joked about, scoffed and mocked–it’s been a ‘gift’ that nobody has or that nobody wants to have! But it does exist! People are immediately turned off when I tell them because they think I’m some weirdo…not a real person. They seem to think I am ‘handicapped’–not full of the Holy Ghost! They are not interested in me in the least. This ‘gift’ really is about ‘losing’ — in their minds. They ‘lose’ their tongues if they have to Speak in heavenly tongues–they ‘lose’ their children or sex life if they remain single, they ‘lose’ respect in their church culture. Yes, I gave up a lot of these ‘perks’ that Protestants really love to boast in today. But my relationship to Jesus far exceeds anything they understand in their little bitty Sunday School books or seminaries!~! What a joke. The things these Protestants esteem are so insignificant to the glories of the Kingdom to come that the Lord has given to those who submit to the ‘gift’ of singleness. Singleness of heart–the greatest gift for serving the Lord has been totally maligned by every Protestant since Martin Luther! It’s a total shame Protestants will have for eternity!!!

]]> By: yolanda http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-57932 yolanda Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:32:42 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-57932 It is painful to be single, and I don't believe any of the "cliches" people throw in my face about it. It's lonely, and it makes no sense to have sexual longings and be punished with not being able to engage in them because you aren't married. If you are married, then you are totally in the clear to share yourself with someone intimately, but single people seem like we are left to suffer or feel guilty for our desires because we have to ignore them or pray them away....it's just a really sad time because I know I want to be a mother and a wife...yet.... It is painful to be single, and I don’t believe any of the “cliches” people throw in my face about it. It’s lonely, and it makes no sense to have sexual longings and be punished with not being able to engage in them because you aren’t married. If you are married, then you are totally in the clear to share yourself with someone intimately, but single people seem like we are left to suffer or feel guilty for our desires because we have to ignore them or pray them away….it’s just a really sad time because I know I want to be a mother and a wife…yet….

]]> By: Erica Talley http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-37719 Erica Talley Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:43:17 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-37719 Tell me more about singleness after divorce. I understand the gift of singleness according to scripture, but does singleness after divorce carry the same gift. I'm thinking the singleness because of divorce is different. I could be wrong. What do you think? Tell me more about singleness after divorce.
I understand the gift of singleness according to scripture, but does singleness after divorce carry the same gift. I’m thinking the singleness because of divorce is different. I could be wrong. What do you think?

]]> By: Chris Edwards http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-36911 Chris Edwards Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:20:27 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-36911 It's a hard thing. I exhort anyone to please (as it took hard tears and much falling into sin to realize I did not have the gift) examine themselves much, and pray god send fiery trials. Especially if in your day to day there aren't people attractive to you or attracted to you. But if you do have the gift and are fair to look upon, you can be strength for many people who have no one but are led to believe it is necessary. Fare well. It’s a hard thing. I exhort anyone to please (as it took hard tears and much falling into sin to realize I did not have the gift) examine themselves much, and pray god send fiery trials. Especially if in your day to day there aren’t people attractive to you or attracted to you.
But if you do have the gift and are fair to look upon, you can be strength for many people who have no one but are led to believe it is necessary.
Fare well.

]]> By: Cindy Covert http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-34794 Cindy Covert Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:06:21 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-34794 I am a 38 single woman. I am a pastors daughter. I have been earnestly praying for a godly husband since I was 16. I think it is o.k. to validate the longings that are in my heart to be married. I love the story of Hannah. She longed for a child and it was o.k. for her to have that dream. I have gone on several long fasts and wrestled with God about this issue. On the first fast as I was reading in Genesis, I saw something that I had never seen before. When God had created Adam, up until that point everything He had done was good. When he saw that Adam was alone he said that was not good. You know, everyone always says there is a God shaped hole inside all of us. It has been placed there by God. Now I am suggesting that if you are suppose to be married there also exists a husband or wife shaped hole. Stick with me a second. God could of filled that spot in Adam with Himself but He didn't. He could of created a bunch of buddies for Adam so he wouldn't be alone, but He didn't. He choose to take a physical rib from Adam to create this woman. Almost as if something was missing from him that was found in Eve. I am sure some readers are saying, wait a minute you need to be whole by yourself. I agree with that. I feel in my singleness that God sustains me and I am productive to what He would have for me right now. But I cannot deny that there is a longing inside of me to be married that will not go away. Sometimes I wish it would. I don't think that it will because I believe that it has been placed there by God. I am a 38 single woman. I am a pastors daughter. I have been earnestly praying for a godly husband since I was 16. I think it is o.k. to validate the longings that are in my heart to be married. I love the story of Hannah. She longed for a child and it was o.k. for her to have that dream. I have gone on several long fasts and wrestled with God about this issue. On the first fast as I was reading in Genesis, I saw something that I had never seen before. When God had created Adam, up until that point everything He had done was good. When he saw that Adam was alone he said that was not good. You know, everyone always says there is a God shaped hole inside all of us. It has been placed there by God. Now I am suggesting that if you are suppose to be married there also exists a husband or wife shaped hole. Stick with me a second. God could of filled that spot in Adam with Himself but He didn’t. He could of created a bunch of buddies for Adam so he wouldn’t be alone, but He didn’t. He choose to take a physical rib from Adam to create this woman. Almost as if something was missing from him that was found in Eve. I am sure some readers are saying, wait a minute you need to be whole by yourself. I agree with that. I feel in my singleness that God sustains me and I am productive to what He would have for me right now. But I cannot deny that there is a longing inside of me to be married that will not go away. Sometimes I wish it would. I don’t think that it will because I believe that it has been placed there by God.

]]> By: James Fung http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-22298 James Fung Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:23:38 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-22298 I think you've let your inspiration get too far ahead of what's really true. Sure, you can try and explain away things, but to say that the current edition of the Bible to be flawed because of the Romans? There's been more than 2 millenia for human errors and intentions to muck up the way that the Bible is presented, and still it survives. I think that's already enough proof that the current used edition of the Bible is what God intended for us to read. I also think that the ideas in this passage are too shallow, but that's only my opinion. I think you’ve let your inspiration get too far ahead of what’s really true.

Sure, you can try and explain away things, but to say that the current edition of the Bible to be flawed because of the Romans? There’s been more than 2 millenia for human errors and intentions to muck up the way that the Bible is presented, and still it survives. I think that’s already enough proof that the current used edition of the Bible is what God intended for us to read.

I also think that the ideas in this passage are too shallow, but that’s only my opinion.

]]> By: Speaker of Truth » Blog Archive » Singleness: Köstenberger versus Maken http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/blog/bible/62/comment-page-1#comment-7362 Speaker of Truth » Blog Archive » Singleness: Köstenberger versus Maken Tue, 20 Feb 2007 22:27:13 +0000 http://www.biblicalfoundations.org/?p=62#comment-7362 [...] Although I don’t always agree with Andreas Köstenberger on gender-related issues, I appreciate what he has to say about singleness, part 1 and part 2. But I don’t appreciate Debbie Maken’s response, preaching that for most people it is wrong to remain single. [...] [...] Although I don’t always agree with Andreas Köstenberger on gender-related issues, I appreciate what he has to say about singleness, part 1 and part 2. But I don’t appreciate Debbie Maken’s response, preaching that for most people it is wrong to remain single. [...]

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