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Monogamy
Posted by Andreas Köstenberger on Feb 27, 2008 in Blog | 5 comments
This blog was originally written for inclusion in the Encyclopedia of Christian Civilization, 4 vols., ed. G. Kurian (Blackwell).
Monogamy (from Gr. monos, “one,” and gamos, “marriage”) refers to marriage to one marriage partner. Monogamy is firmly embedded in the Old Testament teaching regarding God’s plan for marriage. According to Gen. 2:24, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This clearly stipulates a heterosexual, monogamous relationship as the norm for God’s people across both covenant periods.
After the Fall, it took only six generations until monogamy began to be compromised. Barely after Adam had died, Lamech “took two wives” (Gen. 4:19). During the course of Old Testament history, prominent men such as Abraham (Gen. 16:3), Esau (Gen. 26:34; 28:9), Jacob (Gen. 29:30), Gideon (Judg. 8:30), David (2 Sam. 3:2–5; 5:13), Solomon (1 Kgs. 11:3), and others practiced polygamy. Nevertheless, the Old Testament never approves of polygamy.
In the New Testament, both Jesus and Paul upheld the biblical ideal of monogamy. When asked about the permissibility of divorce, Jesus reiterated God’s original plan for marriage as stated in Gen. 2:24 (Matt. 19:4–6 pars.). Paul, likewise, assumed monogamous, heterosexual marriage as the norm, even relating it to Christ’s relationship with the Church (Eph. 5:21–33; cf. Col. 3:18–19). Peter did likewise (1 Pet. 3:1–7; cf. 1 Cor. 9:5).
Scripture proscribes any form of extra-marital sexual intercourse, calling it sexual immorality (porneia), whether adultery, incest, or other forms of illicit sexual relationships (1 Cor. 6:9; 1 Thess. 4:3–6). Jesus even taught that adultery is committed in a person’s heart (Matt. 5:32; cf. Heb. 13:4). In the Greco-Roman world, too, marriage was viewed as monogamous and lifelong (Modestinus, Digesta 23.2.1), though divorce often disrupted the marital bond.
Bibliography:
Campbell, Ken M., ed. Marriage and Family in the Biblical World. Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 2003.
Hawthorne, Gerald F. “Marriage and Divorce, Adultery and Incest.” In Dictionary of Paul and His Letters (ed. Gerald F. Hawthorne, Ralph P. Martin, and Daniel G. Reid; Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1993), 594–601.
Keener, Craig S. “Marriage, Divorce and Adultery.” In Dictionary of the Later New Testament & Its Developments (ed. Ralph P. Martin and Peter H. Davids; Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1997), 712–17.
Köstenberger, Andreas J. with David W. Jones. God, Marriage and Family. 2d ed. Wheaton: Crossway, 2010.
Thank you for your article on monogamy. Clearly the Bible does not advocate polygamy. But shouldn’t your article address passages like Deut 21:15-17, which some have interpreted as at least allowing polygamy?
Gary, the time period at which polygamy were occurring in reference to Deut 21:15-17, were times at which the men would have to get a divorce to the women they were already married to, that is if they had multiple wives. If a woman of this time period got a divorce, she was considered an adulterer if she remarried and how was she to survive if she did not remarry? I do not believe that God intended polygamy, for either the man or the woman, because God made one man and one woman. God could not let His daughters be without food or shelter if the men divorced them, that is also why He made a law for a certificate of divorce for the woman. Please consider the time period when trying to debate this subject.
Thanks.
One other comment I have to add is that if a husband is to love his wife to his fullest ability then how could he have two wives? I do not understand how he could have two or more separate personal/sexual relationships with more than one. It is already difficult enough with ONE! If I were in that situation I would feel unloved and neglected, so my husband would not be fulfilling his duty to me as a husband, so would this be Biblical? I think not.
Thank you. Certainly makes me want to reserve my own copy of the encyclopedia.
I think it should also be stated that those in the bible who commited polygamy, repented of it. David for example, put away all his wives, and was no longer a polygamist during the later parts of his life. If we read the psalms, we can see where david’s heart was on the issue-monogamy.